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You know the couple in your life that seems to have the perfect marriage with the perfect matching careers and the perfect children who live in the perfect house? The ones that you secretly think, “Hey, if I spent 24 hours with them, I would see the chinks in their perfect armor?” Well, for us, that couple is Brian and Melody, with whom we stayed on Saturday.

I am afraid that I have to report that after spending the night, we continue to think that Melody and Brian may be the nicest damn people we’ve ever met. Compared to them, Tom and I feel positively dark! Oh, and they don’t disappoint on the little people front either — the Zs had a wonderful time with the incredible kids of the house: Iris and Lilly. The four of them ranged through the nearby woods, swinging from ivy vines and rolling around in the dirt like frolicking elephants.

And what a house! If we ever have the means, we’ll be begging Brian and Melody for some dwelling design. In the meantime, I do believe that Tom and I could sit eternally on a warm summer evening enjoying their upstairs balcony, mesmerized by the flickering lights of Portland winking through the trees.

Our favorite Oregon fair to attend is the Tillamook County Fair. We love this event because 1) the weather is usually blissfully cool; 2) the proceedings involve the whole community with livestock and 4-H exhibits; and, 3) they are the only fair in the world with Pig N Ford Races!!

“What is a Pig N Ford Race?” you ask. Good question. First, you take four Model T Ford chassis that need to be hand cranked at the front of the car in order to be started. Next, you place these automobiles on a horse track next to four pens, each of which holds three pigs.

The drivers of these Ford cars must grab a pig, start their Model T with the hand crank while holding their squirmy swine, and complete a lap of the track with said unhappy pig in their lap. When a competitor completes a loop, they must stop and turn off their car and then return the first pig to the pen. After that, they get to do the whole thing again, two more times. The first one to complete three individual porcine laps, wins (you complete a lap when the pig in hand is returned to its pen).

You can see a car in the Pig N Ford Race from Thursday in the first photo below.

The Zs also got to hold a python on stage, eat elephant ears, scramble their brains on lots of rides with their friends, pet some tortoises, hang out with the pigs, goats, chickens, cows, bunnies, and sheep, and gaze at large farm equipment. It’s good to be a kid.

As we continue our idyllic visit to the Oregon Coast, which has included more marshmallow roasting and the erection of a large tent in the backyard for gaggles of kids to stay in all night not sleeping, I realized that I had forgotten to share a singular triumph from our trip to Las Vegas — my two way parlay on the hard six that came in…twice!

For those of you not versed in craps terminology, let me illuminate you! On the craps table, the box in the middle is called the “proposition box,” which is filled with horrible bets that have a huge house edge.

Regardless of the fact that I know this, I still made a bet with two $1 chips called a two way (a bet for me and the dealers) parlay (we are both going to stack the winnings and let it ride if it hits) on the hard six (the dice will come as two 3s before a seven hits, or before a six comes the easy way, which would be 4-2 or 5-1).

Now, I made this fancy, completely long-shot wager while I was rolling the bones. And, when the two 3s hit the first time, my $1 bets became a $10 bet for me and a $10 bet for the dealers. Then, miracle of miracles, I hit the hard six two more times, which made me $180 richer. Pretty nice!

The girls have found yet another family they would rather live with than their own! This time, they wanted to stay with Robert and Lucy, old friends that recently moved to Portland, who graciously housed us for the last few days.

And really, why wouldn’t our children want to desert us after our stay?

At the Lucy and Robert B&B, the wee ones got to swim in a neighborhood pool (25 cent donation suggested), drink steamed milk with a hint of chocolate, eat massive amounts of cherries and blueberries, visit and hold a neighbor’s pet chickens (named Chloe, Daphne and Pete — but they’re all girls), attend the Hollywood Farmer’s Market (where they inhaled a fresh peach/raspberry crepe with whipped cream), lay (and squirm) in the house hammock, watch Mamma Mia!, and work on their juggling with lavender-filled stress balls.

Pictured above are the beautiful flowers that we picked up from the farmer’s market and Lucy’s lovely rocking horse, one of many wonderful pieces of her art which besprinkle their new home.

Departure checklist from Sin City:

• Room service breakfast. Check.

• Cab. Check.

• Go to Siena Deli and buy fabulous Italian sandwich to eat on the plane. Check. (This is an old-school Italian deli, grocery, and restaurant which has been a hub for the Vegas Italian-American community for years. This restaurant is the real deal with homemade bread and rolls enveloping imported meats resulting in a sandwich the likes of which you generally can’t find on the West Coast.)

• Hear horrible bankruptcy story from cab driver. Check. (He made six figures a year as a bellman at the MGM Grand, bought a big house, got laid off last year, can’t make house payments, can’t find a job, drives a taxi and effectively makes less than minimum wage since there are few fares and lots of cabs…tough. We bought him a Siena sandwich and gave him a big tip.)

• Make it to the airport really early. Check. (The joys of traveling with Tom!)

• Eat yummy Siena sandwiches on the plane and generate extreme envy amongst our fellow lunchless passengers. Check.

• Land safely in Portland, where it is still nearly as hot as Las Vegas. Check.